Hi everyone! Welcome to the A to Z of Sex. I’m Dr Lori Beth and I am your host. We are working our way through the erotic alphabet one letter at a time. Just a reminder this podcast deals with adult content, so if you don’t have total privacy, you might want to put on your headphones. Today the letter is U and U is for Uncircumcised. In this episode, I will only look at circumcision of males.
Circumcision is an operation in which the foreskin of the penis is removed. The foreskin is the part of the penis that covers the most sensitive portion –the glans or head of the penis. If you are in certain age groups and were brought up in America, you may not realise that there are uncircumcised penises. The first uncircumcised penis I ever saw was at 27 years old when I had sex with my first husband for the first time. He was British and it wasn’t popular in the UK to get circumcised for anything other than religious or medical reasons (whereas in the US almost all men who were born in that age group were circumcised unless a parent objected). I was shocked at first. My initial response was to ask him what was wrong with him! That almost derailed our first sexual experience entirely. When he finally understood the problem, we both had a bit of a laugh. It took me some time to get used to the difference in appearance. At rest, the foreskin covers the head of the penis and some are large pockets of skin and very loose. Others are smaller and just barely cover the head.
There are a variety of reasons that men are circumcised. Jewish men are circumcised at 7 days old as part of a covenant with God. Muslim men are circumcised at a similar time as part of a birth ceremony for the same reason. Men who convert to Judaism must be circumcised in order to convert. Of course in the time that the Old Testament was written, regular baths and showers were not the trend and so circumcision to increase hygiene made more sense.
The most common medical reason for circumcision is a foreskin that is too tight and doesn’t retract as the penis enlarges so that the head of the penis is trapped and this is very painful. The foreskin and glans can grow together and only separate when the boy is about three years old. So some doctors recommend waiting until the boy is older before making the decision to circumcise.
The second medical reason that is often given for circumcision is balanitis which is an inflammation and then infection of the foreskin and/or the glans. This can be caused by poor hygiene, candida, allergy to soaps. Any of these can cause damage to the skin leading to inflammation and then infection.
Finally circumcision can be offered as a treatment for adult men if a tight foreskin is making sex painful.
Circumcision in childhood reduces the risk of penile cancer but penile cancer is rare in any event. Sexually transmitted infections are more common in uncircumcised men. It is suggested that uncircumcised men are less likely to notice the symptoms of things like chlamydia. The safe sex discussion is essential in any sexual encounter but even more essential with uncircumcised guys.
There is a lot of debate as to the downside of male circumcision with some saying that it decreases pleasure and others talking about the risks of the operation. There are problems in 2% of medical circumcisions and these range from bleeding, infection, psychological impacts and sexual problems.
Despite all the debate 2/3 of men are still circumcised. It took until 1999 for the American Academy of Paediatrics to conclude that there were no specific benefits to circumcision. Many American parents prefer circumcision from concerns that their boys will be teased for looking different or that their boys will feel uncomfortable looking different from their fathers.
Now that we have covered some of the facts relating to circumcision, let’s turn to how to approach an uncircumcised penis in order to give the most pleasure. Since if you are like I was, you may not have a clue what to do when confronted with one! First make sure that your man has good hygiene. There is nothing worse than a nasty penis. If he doesn’t smell clean and fresh, start by washing him with soap and warm water. Or jump in the shower with him. Or have a ritual that you follow in preparation to have sex that includes washing him. Personally, I prefer not to have to be face to dick before I realise he needs a wash, so if I am with a new man I try to incorporate bathing or showering into foreplay.
Once a man is fully hard, his foreskin will roll back naturally. However you can bring your man great pleasure by playing with his foreskin. The foreskin is full of nerve endings and it can be extra sensitive. So you have to be careful as you start to play with it. Do not suck too hard and make sure not to pinch unless your man is into pain.
You can use your hand and slide the foreskin gently back and forth.
Using your tongue to circle the inside of the foreskin can be really hot. Or stroke lightly with thumb and forefinger. This is highly sensitive so you may need to back off a bit. Some people say that the head of the penis in an uncircumcised man is less sensitive and others say it is more sensitive. Before you go nibbling the head, check and see which is true with the uncircumcised man you having sex with. Ask him if he likes his penis being nibbled. If he does, you can use your teeth to just graze over him and give him a different sexy sensation.
You don’t have to worry as much about deep throat with uncircumcised guys which can be great if you find deep throating difficult. I still advise practice so you can get as much of the penis in your throat as possible with gagging. Practice teaches you how to partly disable your gag reflex. If you don’t do this for a while, I’m afraid that you will have to practice again ladies. This skill does not stick like riding a bicycle. But if you have built the skill before, it will be quicker this time. Practice on fruit and veg, or use a dildo. Just practice, practice, practice! Some uncircumcised men have a more sensitive head to their penises and so are easier to please. Sucking and licking the tip can bring him to orgasm more quickly.
Some women say that uncircumcised penises feel better during intercourse. I have now had sex with a number of uncircumcised men and a number of circumcised men and I did not notice that one type was better during vaginal intercourse. Some women report finding orgasm during intercourse easier with an uncircumcised man. They talk about the ‘gliding sensation’ as being exciting. The foreskin is bunched up a bit at the base of the penis when the penis is full extended and this may provide some extra friction against the clitoris in some positions which may be why some women report more vaginal orgasm with uncircumcised men.
Some people say that an uncircumcised man finds it harder to last as long as a circumcised man because he is more sensitive. I have not found this to be true. Then again, most guys have to work at lasting longer when they first begin to have sex with other people. During masturbation coming quickly is not a problem. In fact, sometimes it is an advantage. Being able to have a quick wank in the loo during the day can add to excitement. Coming quickly with a partner is usually not an asset. Men usually learn how to pace themselves as they start having sex with other people and being able to wait until your partner has had an orgasm before you come is considered a great skill.
The uncircumcised penis is said to have skin that is more velvety than the circumcised penis so this can lead to lower pain during intercourse in women who are having trouble with lubrication.
Hand jobs can be easier if a man is uncircumcised as the foreskin is doing some of the work for you. The pre-cum acts as a lubricant between foreskin and head of the penis.
Docking is a sexual activity that can only be done if a man has a foreskin. Docking is when one man puts his penis inside the foreskin of the other man. For heterosexual men, foreskin to nipple play can be enjoyed along with tongue and finger in foreskin.
Putting on a condom can be a bit confusing the first time you try it with an uncircumcised man. Being honest, I find putting a condom on a man a bit tricky anyway. I grew up in the age when the man put the condom on and didn’t expect his partner to help him. It wasn’t incorporated into sex play. So I didn’t learn how to put a condom on a dick until I was in my 30’s. I never had enough practice to become really adept at it. I can help but I’m not an expert. This is another one of those skills it is well worth practicing.
In any event, to put a condom on an uncircumcised man, just slide his foreskin back and put on the condom.
There is lots of debate as to which type of penis is more sensitive and whether there is a loss of sexual pleasure when a man doesn’t have a foreskin. It is really difficult to prove one way or the other as the individual is the one who is describing the amount of pleasure. In the end, cut and uncut men find all types of sexual activity pleasurable. Spend the time to explore and discover the man you are with and you will find all the different ways you can make sex a blast.
Thanks for joining me this week for the A to Z of Sex. Write in with your questions to firstname.lastname@example.org and visit both websites http://www.atozofsex.com and https://www.the-intimacy-coach.com to learn about alternative sexual choices, types of sexual relationships and to learn to sizzle and create that ideal lasting intimate relationship. For a free 30 minute session with me, head over to http://www.atozofsex.com and click on the button that says ‘book now’. Please join me next week when the letter will be V and V is for Vaginismus.