Sex Spoken Here: L’s Transition from Monogamy to Polyamory
Welcome to my virtual therapy room! I am Dr Lori Beth Bisbey and this is Sex Spoken Here. Remember that this podcast deals with adult themes so if you don’t have privacy you might wish to put on your headphones.
In today’s story, we will cover bisexuality and non-monogamy. Joining me is L who is a bisexual woman in a long term relationship with a man. She has recently moved into a polyamorous way of living.
I asked L to tell me about her background and culture.
She described herself as a CIS gendered white woman who was Welsh and had Welsh as a first language. She crossed the border to England at 16.
I asked about her first sexual awareness and she said that she didn’t really have much of one as a child apart from the playing doctor type interactions. She said that her first sexual experience was not pleasant and that looking back it was really non-consensual as she didn’t feel she could say no and she didn’t fully understand what was happening. One theme of our conversation was the importance of education about pleasure and learning your own body so that you can communicate your needs to a partner.
L met her husband at 16 and they have been together since.
She spoke of always having an attraction to girls but not fully recognising this as a part of her until a few years ago. She spoke of sharing this with her husband and then them talking about the possibility of opening the relationship.
L said at first that she simply wanted to share this part of herself with her husband and didn’t feel a need to act on anything. Her husband didn’t want to be the reason that she did not explore this side of herself so they started the journey into non-monogamy. They also spoke about having missed out on some of the adolescent young adult sexual experimentation.
L spoke of the changes they have experienced in the way they view non-monogamy and the ups and downs of making this transition.
She said that they both have on going relationships with others and that their relationship still remains central. She spoke about the joy in sharing their experiences with each other and that they are closer now than before they chose to change their path.
We spoke about some of the issues around having a ‘primary’ relationship and the different responsibilities that come with being married to someone or cohabiting with someone. L spoke about how much she enjoys the different experiences and that they have now had some experiences together which has also been a lot of fun.
Today we spoke about bisexuality, the transition to non-monogamy, and the importance of self-knowledge and self-love .
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Check out these podcasts and blogs for more information on transition to non-monogamy and all types of non-monogamy:
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