Polyamory

Exploring Polyamory & Non-Monogamy

Polyamory is a topic that many couples seek information on. Often it begins in their primary relationship with discussions around opening up the relationship.  Let’s clear a few things up before we go deeper.  First, non-Monogamy is any relationship that involves more than two people.  Non-Monogamy can be with consent or without consent. Without Without consent, it is called an affair.  The most damaging thing about an affair is the deception involved and thankfully, there are options for couples that do not have to include the breaking of trust and vows, we call that non-monogamy WITH consent.  Non-monogamy with consent can take many different forms.  For some couples, it is a “don’t ask, don’t tell” arrangement that happens when one person is away a lot.  For others, it involves threesomes and swinging.  The couple invites other people into their relationship and they participate together.  Some explore polyamory which is when there are multiple relationships rather than just multiple sexual partners.  Again this can take many forms. Couples and individuals come in to explore non-monogamy, to work on issues that arise as a result of non-monogamy and polyamorous relationships.  Polyamorous relationship groups also come in for coaching to work on issues arising in the relationships or to set up a good structure to create relationships that are strong and healthy.

I am a good person to work with on exploring polyamory or non-monogamy if any of these fit your situation:

  • You want to explore the possibility of non-monogamous relationships
  • You are in a monogamous relationship and would like to open it to being non-monogamous with consent.
  • You are in a polyamorous relationship and want to work through issues and problems that have arisen
  • You don’t want to have to explain polyamory to a therapist or coach
  • You want help creating a set of agreements and a structure that works for your relationship(s)
  • You are looking to spice up your sex life
  • You or your partner(s) have experienced sexual trauma and want help to heal, create an exciting sex life and to manage and eliminate triggers.

Ways to work with me on non-monogamy/polyamory 

Group work:  Groups are made up of 6 to 12 people and meet once a month for 6 months to start.  They have the advantage of providing a lower cost way of working.  Included in the group are exercises for in between groups, email and telephone support.

Polyamory Exploration Group: Begins 6 February at [19:00][20:30] This group is for individuals who are looking to explore non-monogamous relationships and those in them who want to work on making them run more smoothly.  6-month group for individuals:

Single payment: £597 (save £120)

2 installments: £390 each.

Polyamory 6-month group for couples/relationship/groups: This group starts 10 February [18:00][19:30] and focuses on exploring polyamory and issues around polyamory.

Single payment: £897 (save £283)

Payment in two installments: £590 each.

Individual sessions take place in person in London or via Skype/Gotomeeting online.

10 hour package for individuals: Included in this package is 10 hours of intimacy coaching to spread over no more than three months, two 10 minute telephone calls and email support. (Email support covers responding briefly to email a couple of times per week, sometimes with worksheets, exercises or resources to explore)

Single payment: £1997 (save £202!).

Payment in two installments: £1150 each (save £202!)

20-hour package for individuals: Included in this package is 20 hours of intimacy coaching to spread over no more than three months, two 10 minute telephone calls and email support. (Email support covers responding briefly to email a couple of times per week, sometimes with worksheets, exercises or resources to explore) Single payment: £3997 (save £1007!). Payment in two installments: £2300 each.

Couples sessions can take place in person in London or via Skype/Gotomeeting online.  I  often see the individuals for at least one session for two reasons: The first is that initially people are often more comfortable talking freely on their own. The second is to see if the individuals have the same goals for the coaching. If you want to work more quickly, intensive work may be a better fit.

10 hour package for couples/relationship groups: Included in this package is 10 hours of intimacy coaching to spread over no more than three months, two 10 minute telephone calls and email support. (Email support covers responding briefly to email a couple of times per week, sometimes with worksheets, exercises or resources to explore) Single payment: £2597 (save £797). Payment in two installments: £1697 each

20 hour package for couples/relationship groups: Included in this package is 20 hours of intimacy coaching to spread over no more than six months, two 10 minute telephone calls and email support. (Email support covers responding briefly to email a couple of times per week, sometimes with worksheets, exercises or resources to explore) Single payment: £4597 (save £1097!). Payment in two installments: £2597 each

Exploring Kink, Power Exchange Relationships (BDSM)

Kink refers to any sexual activity that is outside the norm.  Some people enjoy specific fetishes like a fetish for rubber or latex.  People who enjoy rubber might want a partner to dress in rubber, might want to dress in rubber themselves and might want to use toys made of rubber in sex such as anal toys or dildos. Other common fetishes include cross-dressing, water sports (sex involving urine), and feet.

Power exchange relationships are ones in which one person is dominant and the other person is submissive. These relationships can be very complex.  There are power dynamics in all relationships.  In these relationships, the dynamic is exaggerated.  These are consensual relationships and usually involve significant negotiation to decide how much power each person will have.

For example, in some Master/slave relationships there is a total power exchange which means the Master has the option to control every aspect of the slave’s life.  In other power exchange relationships the dynamic exists only in the bedroom.  Power exchange relationships usually involve various types of service.  These relationships can contain BDSM (bondage, discipline, sadomasochism) or not.

People who enjoy BDSM can enjoy bondage, rules and discipline and rituals and sadomasochism.  Masochists gain pleasure from some painful activities like spanking, nipple clamps, flogging.  Some enjoy extreme play including needles, knives, play involving fire.  Sadists enjoy giving out the pain and enjoy that their partners will accept pain to please them.

 

I am a good person to explore polyamory, kink, power exchange (BDSM) with if:

  • You are concerned about a fetish or kink you desire or have been practicing
  • You are interested in broadening your sexual menu to include kink, BDSM, power exchange
  • You want to find a way to tell your partner about kink, BDSM or power exchange and have been worried about their reaction
  • You and your partner want to explore kink, BDSM, power exchange in your relationship
  • You and your partner are want to learn to communicate and negotiate around kink, BDSM, power exchange
  • Your partner is kinky and you want to learn about this
  • Your partner is kinky and you are not and you still want to be in a relationship
  • You want to explore other issues with a coach and therapist who will not insist that kink, BDSM or power exchange are the ‘real’ problem

Group work

Groups are made up of 6 to 12 people and meet once a month for 6 months to start. They have the advantage of providing a lower cost way of working. Included in the group are exercises for in between groups, email and telephone support.

6-month group for individuals:

Single payment: £597 (save £120)

Pay in 2 installments: £390 each.

6-month group for couples/relationship groups:

Single payment: £897 (save £283)

Payment in two installments: £590 each.

Individual sessions take place in person in London or via Skype/Gotomeeting online.

10-hour package for individuals: Included in this package is 10 hours of intimacy coaching to spread over no more than three months, two 10 minute telephone calls and email support. (Email support covers responding briefly to email a couple of times per week, sometimes with worksheets, exercises or resources to explore)

Single payment: £1997 (save £202!)

Payment in two installments: £1150 each (save £202!)

20-hour package for individuals: Included in this package is 20 hours of intimacy coaching to spread over no more than three months, two 10 minute telephone calls and email support. (Email support covers responding briefly to email a couple of times per week, sometimes with worksheets, exercises or resources to explore)

Single payment: £3997 (save £1007!).

Payment in two installments: £2300 each.

Couples sessions can take place in person in London or via Skype/Gotomeeting online.

I often see the individuals for at least one session for two reasons: The first is that initially people are often more comfortable talking freely on their own. The second is to see if the individuals have the same goals for the coaching. If you want to work more quickly, intensive work may be a better fit.

10-hour package for couples/relationship groups: Included in this package is 10 hours of intimacy coaching to spread over no more than three months, two 10 minute telephone calls and email support. (Email support covers responding briefly to email a couple of times per week, sometimes with worksheets, exercises or resources to explore)

Single payment: £2597 (save £797).

Payment in two installments: £1697 each

20 hour package for couples/relationship groups: Included in this package is 20 hours of intimacy coaching to spread over no more than six months, two 10 minute telephone calls and email support. (Email support covers responding briefly to email a couple of times per week, sometimes with worksheets, exercises or resources to explore)

Single payment: £4597 (save £1097!).

Payment in two installments: £2597 each

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