We experience shame when we cannot own something we have thought, felt, or done or some part of ourselves. Guilt can be appropriate when we have done something we know is wrong and harmed ourselves and/or others. It serves the purpose of getting us to look at the wrong and highlighting the wrong so that we can make amends, change our behaviour.
Category: Q&A
Answers to FAQ in all areas of sex, intimacy, relationships, sexuality, including short ‘how to’ blogs
5 Ways to Improve Your Ability to Stay Present (Mindful) During Sex
[av_textblock size=” font_color=’custom’ color=” av-medium-font-size=” av-small-font-size=” av-mini-font-size=” admin_preview_bg=”] 5 Ways to Improve Your Ability to Stay Present (Mindful) During Sex Mindfulness is talked about everywhere now. It’s synonym “stay present” is equally as powerful. But where does the term come from and what does it actually mean? The term was coined by a Buddhist scholar,… Continue reading 5 Ways to Improve Your Ability to Stay Present (Mindful) During Sex
What Turns You On?
I ask this question of clients a lot and surprisingly, people often cannot answer it. Many people look to others to turn them on. Their expectations are that partners will somehow know what to do. Many people are still brought up to think of sexual self-exploration as shameful. Women are often taught to attend to… Continue reading What Turns You On?
Here’s Why It Makes Sense For Sex Workers To Run (And Manage) Their OWN Brothels
The theory was when prostitution (and brothels) were legalized, the criminals (especially organized crime – responsible for most trafficking) would find some other easier more lucrative way to earn money. In turn, sex workers, on the street and in brothels, would be safer, healthier and paid better. Prostitution was legalized in 2000. People who own… Continue reading Here’s Why It Makes Sense For Sex Workers To Run (And Manage) Their OWN Brothels
Pop-up Brothels? Whys an wherefores of buying sex
Not too long ago there was a huge outcry when it was discovered that some sex workers were hiring places using Airbnb and setting up short term brothels. People were upset about the sex work in general and also about the thought of people having sex in their homes. On the one hand, it is… Continue reading Pop-up Brothels? Whys an wherefores of buying sex
‘But His Penis Doesn’t Vibrate!’ An Introduction to Sex Toys
20 years ago, Sandra came to see me because she had never had an orgasm and she was sure that she was going to lose her marriage as a result. She was 35 years old and had been married for 10 years. She described her marriage as happy but told me that recently her husband… Continue reading ‘But His Penis Doesn’t Vibrate!’ An Introduction to Sex Toys