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In parts 1 – 4 of this series, I gave you tips on communicating, creating the space, using imagination and role play to bring back the sizzle in your sexual relationships.

In the last part of this series, I end with 7 suggestions for a steamy sexual encounter.

  1. Choose your time. Do you want an intense quickie or a long detailed sexual scene? Both can be sizzling hot as long as you choose your time and protect it. There is nothing worse than being interrupted by friends, family, colleagues or bosses.
  2. Almost naked is often sexier and than naked. Tease your partner by wearing something provocative that gives a clue to where you want to go. Where something sparse and silky for a romantic encounter, or perhaps a costume to spark the tone for a fantasy. Dress as a pirate,   put on some leather and motorcycle boots, wear clothes that you don’t mind losing if she rips them off of you.
  3. Learn the art of surprise. Surprising someone is an art you can learn. The best surprises are full of details that tease and delight. The more you know about your victim, the better the surprise will be.
  4. Use a blindfold. Restricting vision means that you can concentrate on the other senses. Use your voice to lead your partner into your lair.
  5. Invest in noise cancelling headphones.   Add these to the blindfold and watch your partner’s excitement sky rocket! Play music that you know will entice or just surround him with silence. Then concentrate on touch, taste and smell.
  6. Plan well.   Spontaneous is fun but even spontaneous can be planned for. If you like to be spontaneous, have a ‘go bag’ in your car or in the closet by the door filled with essentials for steamy sex (lube, condoms, other birth control, sex toys, blindfold and anything else you can imagine)
  7. Make it last. Build up to the experience by talking about it, texting about it, emailing about it. Leave little notes or voice messages. Extend the experience after with texts, calls, emails, notes. Take some suggestive pictures and send them to your lover afterwards.

I would love to hear your suggestions for steamy sex below. Next month I will look at favourite fantasies and help you to make them a reality. I will highlight myths relating to fantasies and help you to get over any fears you have about trying out some slightly edgier sex. Until then

Light your Fire!

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